Easy Drivin’

Read the Drive Magazine article here.

The people at GM have tried hard to persuade us that the Lumina Ute is a 2-seat sports car with a big boot. Russell fell for the hype and tried to drive it like a sports car, which didn’t go as well as he had hoped. I on the other hand completely ignored the marketing people and drove it the way it was designed, as a luxury pick up truck.

The word “ute” is an Australian abbreviation of Utility, and translated to South African means Bakkie. It may sound more glamorous in Australian but it still means the same thing.

I secretly am a lover of all things American – well maybe not all things. I stop short of American politics and obesity. I am a closet country music fan and I love V8’s. American cars in this country are thin on the ground so the Lumina Ute is about as close as we can get to an American truck and it really appealed to me. Even the name – Chevy – was right.

I got myself a Stetson and took my country music compilation CD with me and went for a drive. I felt really at home in the Ute with the music playing and my arm out the window. Just a pity it was raining that day. The roofline is a bit lower than a real American truck so your hat touches the roof but there is more than enough headroom when you’re not wearing headgear.

The Chev with its big 6-litre engine is not short of power and yet it doesn’t do anything that would scare your grandma. There is just that wonderful deep down surge every time you press the throttle with enough torque to drag small buildings around behind you. Most owners don’t use their Ute’s as bakkies but they should. You could drive around with half a ton of cement in the back and not even know it was there. It’s big too; you could have a family of refugees living in the load bed and still have room for your building materials. The automatic gearbox works well and I think that going for a manual would be pointless, it would ruin the whole secret American experience.

The interior is spacious and comfortable. It has big leather seats and a wide centre consol so you don’t spend all day rubbing shoulders with your passenger.  You get plenty of equipment as well. You get cruise control and electric windows as well as Bluetooth as standard so all you need to do is keep one hand on the wheel and waft along effortlessly.  There is a 6-disc CD player and dual zone climate control to keep you as cool as you feel.

I say as cool as you feel because you certainly don’t look cool, not in this country anyway. Everywhere I went people sarcastic comments about Brakpan folk and people whose mother was also their sister. I don’t know why people here are so derogatory about this type of vehicle but the fact that they don’t get it didn’t put me off. If I were in America or Australia they wouldn’t be laughing at me.

What is different in America of course is the price of gas and the trick in the Lumina is not to look at the fuel computer. As you might expect from a 6-litre lump, fuel consumption is staggering returning around 16 l/100. Of course this is not an American car and In Australia fuel is also hellishly expensive but that doesn’t seem to put them off building big-engined cars. I guess that if you spend your day driving around at 50 Km/h you don’t really notice.

I really enjoyed the Lumina Ute but then I’ve never been concerned about what other people think of me.

Steve

Part Two

Retesting the Icons

Steve may have requested this Lumina Ute SS for some casual, arm-up cruising complete with cork-dangling ten-galloner on his head and some straw sprouting from between his lips, but I came to the big AusYankian bakkie from a totally different perspective.

Earlier this year after all this vehicle was given a pretty impressive title by a local motoring magazine, and beaten out all sorts of just ridiculously tasty, and capable, sports cars in the process. Performance Car of The Year is the new title on its admittedly broad shoulders, and it was this newfound swagger which to an extent changed the way I was looking at it. I think it changes the way we all look at our cars after all, enthusiasts who drink in the words of motoring journalists all year long despite actually purchasing cars only once every few years, at the most. It has to really, or what’s the point?

But it can be a dangerous force too. In fact, in this case, it established unrealistic preconceptions, possibly.

It’s certainly a charming brute, the Ute. Big and aggro, yet as cuddly as the children’s favourite character it can be painted the colour of. In a much more grown-up shade of red, our car looked the absolute nuts. And the 6.0 badges on the flanks just make it that much better.

It’ll make the enthusiast smile every time, the bearish V8 bursting into life with a chassis-twisting boom before settling to a muted but still burbly idle. Even the cheap and plasticky interior, admittedly much improved over the original version, actually fits in with the unashamedly Hick nature of the thing and its muscle-car roots. Performance cars for the masses they were, not the super-elite!

It’s usefully quick though, more than savagely fast, our thin atmosphere at the Reef seeming to rob more from the lazy, truck-like V8 than some straight-sixes I know. Even so, it makes the accumulation of some major speed all rather effortless, the motor never really seems to be working too hard even if extended to the redline in every gear, yet the needle on the speedo maintains its clockwise trajectory very impressively right round to 200.

But to take on anything of the sort from established stables, the precision of BMWs M3 for instance, or the absolute joy of Aston’s V8 Vantage range, takes a bit more than that. It really takes a whole added layer or two, of finesse, involvement, control, and sophistication – a complex blend of attributes which come together to form the complete picture of any car. And the SS Ute, well…

Again, it isn’t like I dislike the Chevy. Especially when taken in the context of its price. Besides the unique duality of bakkie and sports car in one, where it quite literally stands alone.

But dynamically there are some issues. After all, even earlier-generation Corvettes from which, of course, the Ute gets its big heart, proved inadequate against the stratospheric dynamic abilities of Europe’s finest from Stuttgart and even Maranello. And similar shortcomings hamstring this car.

The steering for instance is vague and lifeless. So much so that traversing our new, narrower, unlit, pockmarked nightmare the highways and byways around Jo’Burg have become since I last ran a Ute along them, is quite a hair-raising experience, and it’s not just the imminent threat of power oversteer that incapacitates you. Throw in some rain and you’d honestly rather just stay parked-up, although there is electronic traction control now.

Especially when allied to this SportShift automatic transmission, the brakes are also a concern. There never seems to be enough stopping power as there is potential for speed needing scraping off. And when you do call for the most from them the suspension once again betrays the balance as the heavy front end dives for the tarmac, the resultant pitch sending the powered rears upwards away from the contact patch for some heart-stopping moments.

Yes, the red dials with their V8 logos and the SS splattered on the bulkhead behind the seats all do add some to the romance, but you only pay any heed to these when you’re cruisin’ the boulevard, so to speak, and as Steve appreciated. The Performance Car of the Year though should seldom be seen indulging in these moments. It’s a whole other measurement criteria.

The funny thing is, I recall writing about the launch of this exact model, and on the mountainous roads of Mpumalanga the strides this SS had taken over its predecessor were vast and the car absolutely commendable. But these new expectations, and to a certain degree the changing of our every day driving situations as Jo’Burgers, actually made our reacquaintance a touch bitter-sweet. Oh, and then there’s the ludicrous thirst.

And it just doesn’t deliver enough of that pure thrill of performance driving to live up to such an exalted position.

As an icon of excess, just the type of vulgar over-muscled yet strangely underwhelming expression you expect of the two countries it could call home, the Lumina Ute SS actually goes way beyond what an impressive target would be, make no mistake. It’s very good at what it does, and makes a powerfully emotional case for itself with a comfortable ride, entertaining handling and a really nice exhaust note. And it definitely does have the biggest boot you’re ever going to see on any pseudo-sportscar.

As a focussed driver’s car, well, unless you absolutely had to ferry a quad, some dirt bikes, or a few soon-to-be-vomiting-all-over cows fairly regularly, you might consider saving a hundred grand or so and buying a GTI or WRX saloon instead – larger bank accounts are likely to prefer the honed, polished benchmark that is the M3, or a 335i or S4 for that matter.

And compared to a 911, any 911 even one from the mid-80s? I think you probably already know the answer to that one actually.

Russell

We both liked:

Charm, character.

Blatant muscle.

We both disliked:

Fuel consumption.

Soggy handling.

Drive Vitals

Engine : 6.0-litre petrol V8

Power : 270kW @ 5700rpm

Torque : 530Nm @ 4400rpm

0-100km/h : Sub-6 seconds

Top speed : 240km/h

Price : R405 600

For more information, visit GM SA.

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